Review of Zohra Zoberi’s book
“Therapeutic Lies”
(By Rubyha McKenzie)
The book itself, Therapeutic Lies, is comfortable to hold, with its soft silky finish. Its cover, done by artist Zainab Mansoor Zuberi, pours out in brilliant colour, the totally consuming relationship of the dementia patient and his caregiver. Between its two covers lie 202 pages that follow, in clear language, the Dance of life between a famous scientist, researcher and professor- Dr. Mujeeb Zoberi, and his beloved wife Zohra, as he slides into Dementia, and passes in 2018.
Printing Legacy Inc. carefully and classically crafted this book with its opening Blank page, its Title Page, Copyright page, Dedication page with epigraph, its 2 page acknowledgement of the sponsorship by The Mississauga Arts Council, and support by the Alzheimer’s Society Peel, its Table of Contents which includes a Foreword by Katie Griffiths of Peel Alzheimer, the Introduction: which includes the early years of Dr. Mujeeb Zoberi and his wife Zohra; General Information and Guidelines for Patients and Care Partners; 4 Stages of Decline, into Afterword by a Geriatric Specialist Dr. Ali Ahmad, Acknowledgements, References, and About the Author, Zohra Zoberi herelf.
Despite its rigorous conformity to formatting and layout, its font is elegant in its simplicity, and allows the reader to move through the book effortlessly. In truth and in fact, Zohra Zoberi accomplishes what she sets out to do- to give us a spare handbook, easy to travel with, that is chock-full of relevant information and data: spliced-in at just the right time. These gray research based inserts, are strategically placed, as the love story of her dementia journey with Mujeeb, unfolds. Her style of writing is light, conversational, emotionally engaging and filled with funny innuendo. I became quite engrossed in this story, which I shall call, The Third I, almost a continuation of The Other I, her previous autobiographical work.
I have known Zohra Zoberi as a WEN member. This was the calm, collected, sophisticated artist: the poet, the author of The Other I, the playwright, and hostess of soiree evenings…but never did I suspect the existence of this fourth person – The Care Giver of Mujeeb, still trying to find the path forward after his passing in 2018.
He was the love of her life, the spouse with whom she conceived and raised a son, who in turn, gave her three beautiful grand-daughters. Yes, Mujeeb was a part of The First I, the academic, the scientist, the Professor who was swept off his feet by a seventeen year old, and had the good sense to court her through letters, and line up a job offer that would attract and bring stars to her young eyes. . .
He it was, who opened the bud that was Zohra: he showed her the world as his traveling companion throughout Europe, Africa… and other parts. He supported her advanced education and interests in sports, music, art and culture. She learned a lot about his work, his interests, and shared his love for mushrooms, even sketching the illustrations for his award winning book about mushrooms, Tropical Macro-fungi.
Therapeutic Lies is not just a manual for care-partners. More than a manual, it is the bringing to a full circle, the sacred ritual that is marriage.
Zohra Zoberi, author and wife of Mujeeb, takes us on a journey in this book, not just as a time-line of Mujeeb’s decline, but of the essence of marriage, that not all partners are called upon to live-up to.
The joyful “YES” to Mujeeb’s proposal of marriage at 17; the joyful “YES” to his request to accept the lucrative job offer in Nigeria, were both gateways into the luxury life that Mujeeb provided: excitement, adventure, freedom to grow socially, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. . . without the strings of being a parent. It was the fulfillment of the dream of every teenager. This was the “I” of her memoirs. The Other I was when he could no longer provide for that dream- the move to Canada, and his loss of earning power, and health.
Now a mother with a growing family, Zohra, literally puts on her ‘running shoes’: to find employment, creating a whole career in banking; to use her creative resources to give voice to her stories rooted in the cultural diversity of music, language, ritual and ceremony, celebration and cuisine; via her memoirs, poetry, drama; to generate connection with the various arts resources of Mississauga: The Mississauga Arts Council; Writers and Editors Network, Oakville Literary Cafe, the Canada Council for the Arts, and the Ontario Trillium Foundation.
During this period of time, as Mujeeb’s mental health deteriorated, the one question that buoyed her spirit, fuelled her stamina was, “How can this happen? How can this ‘demon’ take away this brilliant mind of my husband more and more every day?” She referred to it as ‘Demon-tia’, a metaphor that Katie Griffiths loved!
She sought help from the Alzheimer’s Society of Peel, and got the support that a family care-giver needs: the medical understanding and mental health education, about what was happening to Mujeeb; the connection to the Hospitals, Medical Services, and PSWs that provided day-to day resources. Zohra acknowledges and gives credit to Alzheimer’s Society Peel, in Therapeutic Lies, “for warmly welcoming and supporting this mental health related literary art project”.
Later-on, from Katie Griffiths- Director of Community Services, Alzheimer’s Society Peel, came the reinforcement and support for sharing her stories as a care giver. This relationship developed into a warm and mutually supportive platform that blossomed into the publishing of Therapeutic Lies, in 2026. Blossomed was used twice, I changed it.
Through her powerful spirituality- her humility, her prayer-life, her love for, and respect for all peoples and cultures; her compassion for the suffering, and her own refusal to be disrespected- Zohra transmuted her path as Mujeeb’s caregiver, into the clear-eyed, straightforward narration of Therapeutic Lies– the story of Mujeeb’s decline within the cocoon of their marriage, and family life. She gave credit for that identity and self-image to her beloved father, and later to Mujeeb, who always re-enforced her, and in his last days whispered . . . Don’t be naïve and never be Bechaaree. (Helpless woman)
We, as parents have done it with our babies and young children. They simply did not have the emotional capacity, the language or cognition to deal with the loss of a pet, a loved one: a favourite cuddly toy, a doll, a family member. So, what did we do? Julie Andrews couched it well in words that we still hum. . . Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, helps…
In Zohra’s case, she had the support of family and a few close friends, PSWs, and other professionals to help her use very creative ways, and language to deal with his uncontrollable and sometimes violent bursts of rage, obsessive need for her presence, and the secretive dark side of his disorder- stealing, lying, hoarding, and paranoia.
In the case of her family, she specifically mentions her son, and his wife, who tried very hard to relieve her so that she could have time for self-care. This would only last for a very short time, as invariably Mujeeb, her husband grew increasingly agitated by her absence, and demanded that he be taken to her at once. . .They had no choice but to comply.
She writes about the loving, creative, and gentle ways their grand-daughters supported his need for nurturance, fun, and entertainment. Initially, Zohra felt very guilty about using those ‘creative’ ways to fool, or lie to Mujeeb, but soon realized that, he just did not have the psychological resources to deal with the real-life decisions of self-care: medical appointments, medication, and personal care from time to time; of realising that Zohra herself, his wife, also had social, emotional needs that did not involve him; of decisions regarding home and property, finances, and of travel plans, and most important of all, of dealing with the reality that she had increasingly become the bread-winner.
In all these ways Zohra slowly and surely learned how to arrive at peaceful loving solutions with Mujeeb. She eventually came -to- terms with using these untruths, guided by the professionals of The Alzheimer’s Society of Peel, and her daily interaction with the PSWs of the health care system of Mississauga. She encapsulated these subterfuges in the title of her book: Therapeutic Lies, because it simply and effectively describes how she was able, thanks to these creative untruths, to take care of Mujeeb, the dementia patient, and of herself as the care giver.
I cannot think of a more fitting accolade for Zohra, when in June 2026, she was awarded the MARTY’S Lifetime Achievement Award in Mississauga. It does crown her for her work over the past 50 years, as a playwright, author, and humanitarian who ‘exemplifies a profound commitment to fostering empathy and cultural understanding…’. But what it does not mention is that powering all these achievements is the heart-energy of this woman Zohra Zoberi.
In Therapeutic Lies Zohra gives us in plain simple language the road map of how one spouse takes care of another, when the chips are down. In so doing, she undergirds and enriches the lives of their son, daughter-in-law, anyone who needs support as a care-giver in Mississauga, ON Canada, but most importantly, passes on to their grand-daughters, what it means to really take care of someone you love.
Reviewed by Rubyha McKenzie, M.Ed.
Montessori Education, AMI
Loyola College, MD
A Pocketful of Starlight Ó2022
Rubyaah: Emerging From the Mists of Time Ó2018
July 14th 2026
