{"id":3191,"date":"2026-08-15T19:23:40","date_gmt":"2026-08-15T23:23:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wenetwork.ca\/site\/?p=3191"},"modified":"2026-08-15T19:23:57","modified_gmt":"2026-08-15T23:23:57","slug":"review-of-zohras-book-therapeutic-lies-by-rubyha-mckenzie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wenetwork.ca\/site\/review-of-zohras-book-therapeutic-lies-by-rubyha-mckenzie\/","title":{"rendered":"Review of Zohra’s Book, “Therapeutic Lies” by Rubyha McKenzie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Review of Zohra Zoberi\u2019s book<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/b><\/b>\u201cTherapeutic Lies\u201d<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

(By\u00a0Rubyha\u00a0McKenzie)\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The book itself,\u00a0<\/span>Therapeutic Lies,<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0is comfortable to hold, with its soft silky finish.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Its cover,\u00a0done by artist\u00a0<\/span>Zainab Mansoor Zuberi<\/span><\/i>, pours out in brilliant colour, the\u00a0totally consuming\u00a0relationship of the dementia patient and his caregiver.<\/span> Between its two covers lie 202 pages that follow, in\u00a0clear language, the\u00a0Dance of life between\u00a0<\/span>a<\/span>\u00a0famous scientist, researcher and professor- Dr. <\/span>Mujee<\/span>b<\/span>\u00a0Zoberi, and his beloved wife Zohra, as he slides into Dementia, and passes in 2018.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b>Printing Legacy Inc.<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0carefully and classically crafted this book with its opening Blank page, its Title Page,\u00a0 Copyright page, Dedication page with epigraph, its 2 page acknowledgement of the\u00a0<\/span>sponsorship by\u00a0The\u00a0Mississauga Arts Council,\u00a0\u00a0and support by the Alzheimer\u2019s Society Peel, its Table of Contents which includes a\u00a0<\/span>Foreword<\/span><\/b>\u00a0by Katie Griffiths of Peel Alzheimer,\u00a0the\u00a0<\/span>Introduction<\/span><\/b>:\u00a0\u00a0which includes the early years of\u00a0<\/span>Dr. Mujeeb Zoberi<\/span><\/i>\u00a0and his wife<\/span>\u00a0Zohra<\/span><\/i>;\u00a0<\/span>General Information and Guidelines<\/span><\/b>\u00a0for Patients and Care Partners;\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>4 Stages of Decline<\/span><\/b>, into<\/span>\u00a0Afterword<\/span><\/b>\u00a0by a Geriatric Specialist\u00a0<\/span>Dr. Ali\u00a0Ahmad,<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span>Acknowledgements,<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span>References,<\/span><\/b>\u00a0and\u00a0<\/span>About the Author<\/span><\/b>, Zohra\u00a0<\/span>Z<\/span>o<\/span>beri<\/span>\u00a0herelf.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite its rigorous conformity to formatting and layout, its font is elegant in its\u00a0simplicity, and\u00a0allows the reader to move through the book effortlessly. <\/span>In truth and in fact, Zohra\u00a0Zoberi\u00a0accomplishes\u00a0what she sets out to do-\u00a0to\u00a0give us a spare handbook, easy to travel with, that is chock-full of relevant information and data:\u00a0spliced-in at just the right time.\u00a0<\/span>The<\/span>se<\/span>\u00a0gray\u00a0<\/span>research based\u00a0<\/span>inserts,\u00a0are strategically placed,\u00a0as the love story of her dementia journey with Mujeeb, unfolds.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Her style of writing is light, conversational, emotionally engaging and filled with funny innuendo<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>I became quite engrossed in this story, which I shall call,\u00a0<\/span>The Third I<\/span><\/i><\/b>,<\/span><\/i>\u00a0almost a\u00a0continuation of\u00a0<\/span>The Other I<\/span><\/i><\/b>,\u00a0<\/span><\/i>her\u00a0previous\u00a0autobiographical work.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I have known Zohra\u00a0Zoberi<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>as a WEN\u00a0<\/span>member.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0This was the calm, collected, sophisticated artist: the poet, the author of\u00a0<\/span>The Other I,<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0the playwright, and hostess of soiree evenings\u2026but never did I suspect the existence\u00a0<\/span>of<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>this fourth person \u2013\u00a0<\/span>The Care Giver of <\/span><\/i><\/i>Mujee<\/span><\/i>b<\/span><\/i><\/i><\/i>,\u00a0<\/span>still trying to find the path forward after his passing in 2018.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He was the love of her life, the spouse with whom she conceived and raised a son, who in turn, gave her\u00a0<\/span>three<\/span>\u00a0beautiful\u00a0grand-daughters.<\/span> Yes, <\/span>Mujee<\/span>b<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>was a part of\u00a0<\/span>The First\u00a0I,\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b>the\u00a0academic, the scientist, the Professor who was swept off his feet by a\u00a0seventeen year old, and had the good sense to court her through letters, and line up a job offer that would attract and bring stars to her young eyes. . .<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He it was, who opened the bud that was Zohra: he showed her the world as\u00a0his\u00a0traveling companion throughout Europe, Africa\u2026 and other parts. He supported her advanced education and interests in sports, music,\u00a0art\u00a0and culture. <\/span>She learned a lot about his work, his interests, and shared his love for mushrooms, even sketching the illustrations for his\u00a0award winning\u00a0book about mushrooms,\u00a0<\/span>Tropical Macro-fungi.<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b>Therapeutic Lies<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0is not just a manual for care-partners.<\/span> More than a manual, it is the bringing to a full circle, the sacred ritual that is marriage.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Zohra\u00a0Zoberi, author and wife of Mujee<\/span>b<\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>takes us on a journey in this book, not just as a\u00a0time-line\u00a0of Mujeeb\u2019s decline, but of the essence of marriage, that not all partners are called upon to live-up\u00a0to.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The joyful \u201cYES\u201d to Mujeeb\u2019s proposal of marriage at 17; the joyful \u201cYES\u201d to his request to accept the lucrative job offer in Nigeria, were both gateways into the\u00a0<\/span>luxury<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>life that Mujeeb provided: excitement, adventure, freedom to grow socially, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. . .\u00a0without the strings of being a parent.<\/span> It was the fulfillment of the dream of every teenager. This was the \u201cI\u201d of her memoirs. <\/span>The\u00a0<\/span>Other\u00a0<\/span><\/i>I\u00a0<\/span><\/i>was when he could no longer provide for that dream- the move to Canada, and his loss of earning power, and health.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now a mother with a growing family, Zohra, literally puts on her \u2018running shoes\u2019: to find employment, creating a whole career in banking;\u00a0 to use her creative resources to give voice to her stories rooted in the cultural diversity of music, language, ritual and ceremony, celebration and cuisine; via her memoirs, poetry, drama; to generate connection with the various arts resources of Mississauga:\u00a0<\/span>The Mississauga Arts Council; Writers and Editors Network,\u00a0<\/span><\/i>Oakville Literary Cafe,\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/i>the Canada Council for the Arts,\u00a0and\u00a0the Ontario Trillium Foundation.<\/span><\/i><\/i><\/i><\/i><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

During this\u00a0period of time, as Mujeeb\u2019s mental health deteriorated, the one question that buoyed her spirit, fuelled her stamina was,\u00a0<\/span>\u201c<\/span><\/b>How can this happen?<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b> <\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b>How can this \u2018demon\u2019 take away this brilliant mind of my husband\u00a0more and more\u00a0every day<\/span><\/i><\/b>?\u201d<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span>She referred to it as\u00a0\u2018Demon-tia\u2019,\u00a0a metaphor\u00a0that Katie\u00a0Griffiths\u00a0loved!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>She sought help from the Alzheimer\u2019s Society of\u00a0Peel, and\u00a0got the support that a family care-giver needs: the medical understanding and mental health education, about what was happening to Mujeeb; the connection to the Hospitals, Medical Services, and PSWs that provided day-to day resources.\u00a0<\/span>Zohra acknowledges and gives credit to Alzheimer\u2019s Society Peel,\u00a0in\u00a0<\/span>Therapeutic Lies,<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0\u201cfor warmly welcoming and supporting this mental health related literary art project\u201d.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Later-on,\u00a0from Katie Griffiths-\u00a0Director of Community Services, Alzheimer\u2019s Society Peel, came the reinforcement and support for sharing her stories as a care giver.\u00a0<\/span>This relationship\u00a0<\/span>developed i<\/span>nto a\u00a0warm and mutually supportive platform that blossomed into the publishing of\u00a0<\/span>Therapeutic Lies,\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b>in 2026.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Blossomed was used twice, I changed it.<\/span><\/b><\/b><\/b><\/b><\/b>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Through her powerful spirituality- her humility, her prayer-life, her love for, and respect for all peoples and cultures; her compassion for the suffering, and her own refusal to be disrespected- Zohra transmuted her path as Mujeeb\u2019s caregiver, into the clear-eyed, straightforward narration of\u00a0<\/span>Therapeutic Lies<\/span><\/i><\/b>–<\/span><\/b>\u00a0the story of Mujeeb\u2019s decline within the cocoon of their marriage, and family life.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0She gave credit for that identity and self-image to her beloved father, and later to Mujeeb, who always re-enforced her, and in his last days whispered\u00a0.\u00a0. .\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/i><\/b>Don\u2019t\u00a0be na\u00efve and never be\u00a0Bechaaree<\/span><\/i><\/b>.<\/span> (Helpless woman)<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We, as parents have done it with our babies and young children. They simply did not have the emotional capacity, the language or cognition to deal with the loss of a pet, a loved one: a favourite cuddly toy, a doll, a family member. So, what did we do? <\/span>Julie Andrews couched it well in words that we still hum. . .\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/i>Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, helps<\/span><\/i>\u2026<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In Zohra\u2019s case, she had the support of family and a few close friends, PSWs, and other professionals to help her use very creative ways, and language to deal with his uncontrollable and sometimes violent bursts of rage, obsessive need for her presence, and the secretive dark side of his disorder- stealing, lying, hoarding, and paranoia.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the case of her family, she specifically mentions her son, and his wife, who tried\u00a0very hard\u00a0to relieve her so that she could have time for self-care. <\/span>This would only last for\u00a0a very short\u00a0time, as invariably Muje<\/span>eb<\/span>, her husband grew increasingly agitated by her\u00a0absence, and\u00a0demanded that he be taken to her at once. . .They had no choice but to comply.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She writes about the loving, creative, and gentle ways their\u00a0grand-daughters\u00a0supported his need for nurturance, fun, and entertainment. <\/span>Initially, Zohra felt very guilty about using those \u2018creative\u2019 ways to fool, or lie to Mujee<\/span>b<\/span>, but soon realized that, he just did not have the psychological resources to deal with the real-life decisions of self-care: medical appointments, medication, and personal care from time to time; of realising that Zohra herself, his wife, also had social, emotional needs that did not involve him; of\u00a0 decisions regarding home and property, finances, and of travel plans, and most important of all, of dealing with the reality that she had increasingly become the bread-winner.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0In all these ways Zohra slowly and surely learned how to arrive at peaceful loving solutions with Mujee<\/span>b<\/span>. She eventually came -to- terms with using these untruths,\u00a0guided by the professionals of The Alzheimer\u2019s Society of Peel, and her daily interaction with the PSWs of the health care system of Mississauga. <\/span>She encapsulated these subterfuges in the title of her book:\u00a0<\/span>Therapeutic Lies,\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b>because it\u00a0simply and effectively describes how she was able, thanks to these creative untruths, to take care of Muje<\/span>eb<\/span>, the dementia patient, and of herself as the care giver.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I cannot think of a more fitting accolade for Zohra, when in June 2026, she was awarded the MARTY\u2019S\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>Lifetime Achievement\u00a0Award<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0in Mississauga.<\/span> It\u00a0<\/span>does\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b>crown her for her work over the past 50 years, as a playwright, author, and humanitarian who \u2018exemplifies a profound commitment to fostering empathy and cultural understanding\u2026\u2019.<\/span>\u00a0\u00a0But what\u00a0<\/span>it does not<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u00a0mention is that powering all these achievements is the heart-energy of this woman Zohra\u00a0<\/span>Zoberi<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In\u00a0<\/span>Therapeutic Lies\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/b>Zohra\u00a0gives us in plain simple language the road map of how one spouse takes care of another, when the chips are down.<\/span> In so doing, she undergirds and enriches the lives of their son, daughter-in-law, anyone who needs support as a\u00a0care-giver\u00a0in Mississauga, ON Canada, but most importantly, passes on to their grand-daughters, what it means to really take care of someone you love.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Reviewed by<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Rubyha McKenzie, M.Ed.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Montessori Education, AMI<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Loyola College, MD<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/i><\/i>A Pocketful of Starlight<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span>\u00d3<\/span>2022<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/i><\/i>Rubyaah:\u00a0Emerging\u00a0From\u00a0the Mists of Time\u00a0<\/span><\/i>\u00d3<\/span><\/i>2018<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>July 14<\/span>th<\/span>\u00a02026<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Review of Zohra Zoberi\u2019s book\u00a0 \u201cTherapeutic Lies\u201d\u00a0 (By\u00a0Rubyha\u00a0McKenzie)\u00a0\u00a0 The book itself,\u00a0Therapeutic Lies,\u00a0is comfortable to hold, with its soft silky finish.\u00a0\u00a0Its cover,\u00a0done by artist\u00a0Zainab Mansoor Zuberi, pours out in brilliant colour, the\u00a0totally consuming\u00a0relationship of the dementia patient and his caregiver. Between its two covers lie 202 pages that follow, in\u00a0clear language, the\u00a0Dance of life between\u00a0a\u00a0famous scientist, … Continue reading Review of Zohra’s Book, “Therapeutic Lies” by Rubyha McKenzie<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3191","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breakfast-speakers-2013"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t